Just Call Me Eileen

I've always been under the impression that people who live abroad have a special gene in their DNA that allows them to do what they do so well under incredible pressure. I mean normal, everyday, average Joes like me couldn't possibly survive on foreign soil for extended lengths of time. I was built for shorter visits. Visits that allowed me to sample these exotic places and then return to the familiarity of my homeland while boasting great knowledge acquired in my 10 days of observation.

Then suddenly I find myself actually LIVING here. Like as in STAYING. NOT LEAVING. Bought a ONE WAY TICKET. There must be some paperwork glitch in Heaven. I had talked to the Lord extensively about what I could and could not do. I thought we had an agreement. I was wrong. It seems that I had inadvertently signed up for the LONG TERM plan of living by faith--SEVERE faith.

Now instead of saying nice prayers that consisted of,

"Help me today,"
"Make me a blessing to others,"
"Be with my friend..."
"Let me share your love today..

I'm pleading,

"Help me not to die in this taxi!"
"Please let the cake bake and not let the oven give us carbon monoxide poisoning,"
"Please let the men at the bottom of the stairs part so that I can walk through without incident..."
"Lord, how can any impact be made in a city this size?"

and on and on it goes.

When I lived in Springfield I'm embarrassed to say that I would rarely pray for safety on my way to the mall or the store or the library. Here in Egypt I depend on the Lord's help constantly--every errand, every taxi ride, every task, every relationship, every THING. When we left the comforts of home was He actually allowing me the opportunity to know what it means to fully lean on Him and rest in His provision?

It's a gift that I didn't ask for...didn't have the courage or the fortitude to petition...yet in His kindness He gave me what I needed rather than what I wanted. Yes, I lean on Him in areas of my life that I didn't even think had weakness and in that I find even more weakness. I'm still learning...learning what it means to trust, to listen, to follow. Did I need to move to learn these lessons? Maybe not, but removing all the props of acceptance, ability, familiarity and comfort provide me the greatest lesson of all--learning to lean into His trustworthy arms and finding He's enough.

Sincerely,

Pamela "I Lean" 

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