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| The view from the women's section |
John asked him when the date was and Yah-Yah gave him all the details. We marked our calendars and were excited to be going to our first Nubian wedding. We had just returned from Cairo on Monday and received a call from Yah-Yah confirming that we were definitely coming to the wedding on Tuesday. He then gave John the information again…Tuesday, Sports Club, 10 pm. That's right. 10 pm.
Many events don't occur here until evening. A couple reasons come to mind…1) Many people are working and need to wait until evening and 2) It's simply too hot to travel or to sit in rooms full of people with no ventilation.
Tuesday came and we decided we would take a nap in the afternoon so that we could party all night. Sadik was back in town so he volunteered to take us to the event. We told him that it was too late for him to be out. He laughed and said, "I never go to bed before 2 am!"
I dressed up in a long skirt and elbow-covering blouse. John debated between traditional dress of a jalibaya or dress pants and a shirt. He went with the latter. It was our first local social affair and we weren't sure what the dress code was for something like this.
Sadik picked us up and began driving through town. 10 pm and the streets were packed with families shopping and enjoying the night. Traffic was thick so we had to bide our time through all the honking cars. I guess this is also where I should insert that we left at 10 pm even though we were told the wedding started at 10 pm.
We have now been to enough events in this part of the world to know that the starting time is only the starting time for Westerners like ourselves. It is understood that when someone says 10 pm, it is definitely more like 11 or 12 before everyone actually shows up. We've learned this lesson the hard way. I'm insanely punctual so this is an incredibly hard social convention to institute.
Sadik pulled up in front of the Sports Club where he told us there are actually 3 venues and 3 entrances. He told us to wait while he ran to each door to find out which one we should go to. We were once again so thankful for such a dear friend who constantly goes the extra mile. I think he also knew that we would cause a scene walking through all the crowds ourselves.
He pointed to the door that we needed and we exited the taxi. He asked us when we wanted to be picked up. John adamantly told him that he did not need to wait for us. It would be far too late and too long. Sadik insisted that he didn't mind and that he could make other taxi runs in between. They bantered back and forth but Sadik finally won out.
We put on our brave faces and walked into a crowd of very smartly dressed Nubians who all stopped to see the obviously different guests arriving. Some men greeted John and ushered us down the stairs. We were greeted at the bottom and were told to wait. I had on my perma-smile the whole time. Two men behind a counter handed us each a box and pointed toward the "ballroom." We walked in and surveyed the venue.
On the main floor were probably 200 women and children all seated in rows facing the stage. Around the perimeter and on a raised floor were around 100 men. This was an Islamic wedding. The gender separation is normal and expected. John gave me a smile and said, "See you in a bit?"
I nodded and began my way into the fray of women. I sat down about 8 rows back next to two girls who looked to be teenagers. I smiled at them and began in my best Arabic, "Hi! How are you?" They smiled and told everyone around them, "She speaks Arabic!" Soon children had circled around me asking, "What is your name?" "How are you?" in their best English.
I tried to track John in the crowd but he was long gone. I assumed he would find me. I continued to answer and ask questions as much as I could. The two girls told me to open my box and eat. I looked inside and found a juice box and 2 pastries. Very nice.
I didn't have much of an appetite because I knew that "watching the foreigner eat" would be another point of entertainment so I politely closed the box and told them, "I will eat some later." We continued talking until someone motioned that the bride and groom had arrived.
They began making their way through the crowd and down the aisle. There wasn't any formal start or music. They simply walked to the stage and sat down on a decorated bench. Many people jumped up and began snapping pictures. I was too shy to walk toward the front so I tried from a distance…not too successfully.
After a few minutes the men from both families walked to the stage and sat down. Someone began reading from the Koran and then the wedding contract was signed by both fathers. Yah-Yah and his bride were now married. I was rather shocked by the brevity of the whole thing, however, this is only one of several celebrations that happen throughout the week.
The men stood up and congratulated the couple. The mothers of the bride and groom followed. Soon the stage was full of relatives kissing and hugging. I again paused to see what was appropriate. I had no "Dummies Guide" to follow.
John whispered in my ear, "It's our turn." Yah-Yah's brother had befriended John and told him that we could now give our congratulations. We walked to the front with all eyes on the foreigners. I muttered to myself, "Don't trip. Don't trip. Don't trip."
John hugged Yah-Yah several times and patted him on the back. I smiled and said, "Alf Mabrook!" (A thousand congratulations!). I then turned to greet the bride and Yah-Yah introduced us. She was in an conservative Islamic bridal gown that covered her arms to her wrists, all of her hair and the gown to the floor. However, the bling was in full-force. John smiled at her and gave congratulations, but did not touch her as it is not appropriate.
We turned and walked back. John asked if I were okay and I assured him I was. We returned to our respective seats and that's when the party began. A DJ had been hired along with smoke machine and special lighting. The speakers blared with the latest Arabic pop music and soon all the women were up and dancing in a circle around the bride.
The groom had been escorted out by his brother and cousin who picked him up and began shaking him in some funny tradition that I couldn't quite figure out. They released him and he also danced except in the men's group.
Some of the women stayed seated so I thankfully remained with them. John who doesn't "boogie" on any continent stayed deeply engaged in his conversations in the back.
The music was deafening so any attempt at conversation with the women around me was impossible. I wondered how long this would continue. I surveyed the group and felt incredibly privileged. Yes, we were different, but they had included us in this special event. I silently prayed a blessing for each one. I was trusting the Lord could hear me over Shakira on the speakers.
The dancing continued and soon we saw some of the attendees departing. What?! It's only 11:30! I seriously thought we would be here until 2 or 3 am. I stood up and searched for John. He was surrounded by a group of men so I waited until there was a lull. He said loudly, "It looks like we can go now. They will dance for a while more and that's it."
We said our goodbyes and found Sadik outside waiting for us. We didn't even get a chance to call him. My ears were still ringing as we told Sadik how surprised we were that the festivities were ending so soon. He said, "Here in this town. 12 o'clock. Khalas! (That's it!)"
He drove us back home and we smiled at the evening. Such a beautiful gesture to include us, so wonderfully kind to receive us…May Yah-Yah and his wife have a long, happy life.
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| Congratulations... |
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| The groom on the right... |
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| The signing of the wedding contract... |
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| The bride (blurry) on the left... |
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