Substitutions

The current Healthy Lifestyle Bandwagon we've jumped on requires a load of planning and a plethora of odd ingredients.  If Hy-Vee or Kroger were around the corner this would be absolutely no issue at all.  Sadly, that is not the case here in our little neck o' the desert.

The recipe today called for the following items:

chicken
apples
balsamic vinegar
fresh thyme
scallions
salt
pepper

I managed to track down the chicken, apples, salt and pepper.  The rest were coming "bokra inshallah" ("tomorrow if God wills it") as they like to say around here.  It's to be assumed that "bokra" never comes and they are simply trying to let you down easy rather than saying, "No way.  No how."

I put the chicken in the pan as directed and then began looking through my cupboards to see what might work as an adequate substitute for fresh thyme.  I found rosemary and decided to sprinkle that on top of the chicken.  Next I placed sliced apples.  Check.  Then I moved onto a replacement for scallions.  These mutant-sized green onions I found at the Veggie Guy would have to do.  I thought I had balsamic vinegar but it turned out to be soy sauce, so you guessed it…the soy sauce came next.

My general rule of thumb is if it has more than 3 ingredient substitutions it stops being the original recipe and becomes something else.  This was definitely something else.

I placed it in the oven on low and went to our neighbors to visit.  When I returned, the apartment was filled with a quasi-Asian Silver Dollar City smell.  John (ever the encourager) said, "I'm sure it will be great."  Well, it's what we've got, so it will have to work.

I pulled it out of the oven and dished it out into the indicated portions.  First, it looked awfully small on that big ol' plate and second it was all sort of brownish without any real cookbook photo appeal.

We thanked the Lord for the food before us (an act of faith actually) and tried a bite.  John grunted in approval, but added no adjectives.  I knew what that meant.  The old adage, "If you can't say something nice…"

I took a bite too and tried to talk myself into liking it.  It's not too bad, I said.  Well, not terrible.  I suppose this could be part of the diet psychology…meaning if you put enough bad combos together then you won't even recognize good (otherwise known as fattening) food when it's put in front of you.  You'll simply push it away not wanting to risk another tastebud debacle.

One side note:  Currently it's my turn to take something delectable to my landlord's family.  I have their plate.  I've been waiting to make a "hit" and then share it with them…however, the last couple attempts would not give American cuisine a good name.  I simply can't in good conscience hand over something to them that tastes bad and let them think this is our country's food.  It wouldn't be good foreign relations.  You're welcome.