Schmear Me!

For the past two weeks I've had a hankerin' for 2 things: chips and salsa (That is one unit.) and a bagel with cream cheese (also a unit).

Craving food from the homeland isn't anything new.  Since we've taken to this life, we have learned to press through the yearnings and find new favorites…most of the time.

So far so good.  They look like bagels!

Here in our city, there is one little "store" of sorts that sells foreign foods, but they import mostly British food.  Seriously, who ever says, "Let's go out for English tonight?"  So sometimes we just go without.  However, a few of my Laura Ingalls-like friends encouragde me to try to make some of these things myself.  (I even once had a friend who made her own crackers?!  What?!)

I can make salsa, but the chips and the smell of a greasy little restaurant decorated in red tamales can't be duplicated here.  I have now been challenged to try to make bagels.  I haven't ever really even given bagel-making a thought.  Why would I when Panera is on every corner?  (Which by the way, Panera, if you're reading this…you really should consider an international presence…now.)

So my friend sent me a recipe and step-by-step instructions for making bagels.  How hard can they be?  Well…they be.

This is the boiling stage…got ugly here.
Still not sure what happened or why.

I've documented my attempt via photos and will highlight them in the post.  While they tasted nothing like Panera or even a bagel for that matter, they were good.  I didn't have cream cheese so I put on some weird little white cheese that comes in squares here which also contributed.

Now some of you are asking, "How does this fit in with the Whole30 deal?" It doesn't.  Not even close, but some cravings can't be quelled.  Now that I've spent a good portion of my life's energy on a batch, I'll think twice before I do it again.  It's pretty tiring and my oven set on 500º almost became nuclear at such a high temp.  (Not to mention the cook was nearly a puddle at the end, too.)

John was very happy with the results.  Poor guy.  Make him eat meat, berries and cucumbers for weeks on end and then dangle a bagel-wannabe in front of him…of course it tasted good.  (That was my plan from the start. Bwa ha ha ha ha.)

Anyway, this was my first attempt.  I will have to investigate what happened between shaping the bagels and boiling the bagels…I simply have no guesses.

So if you do live near a Panera or an Einstein Bros. Bagels location, please go by there and eat a bagel for me.  Take a photo of yourself with the caption, "Schmear me!"  I'll take it as the best love note I've ever received.

Salt and sesame seeds on top.  They look like bread,
but not very bagel-esque.