What Makes a Man a Man

59.  That's the number of days until Emileigh becomes Mrs. Jacob Rogers.  The days leading up to the Big Event are quite exciting and also a bit challenging when we are here (Egypt) and she is there (U.S.).  Thankfully (and I am sincere about this) SKYPE saves us from carpal tunnel and the many, MANY details that have to be discussed.

I pretty much love events.  I love to create them, plan them, execute them…but this is one of the best.    You see, the longer I'm married to John, the more I realize just what a good man he is.  That in turn makes me think about the men that our girls will marry.  We've had long talks with our girls about what makes a man a man.  

Here's some of the list:

1)  He has a deep love for God.  He's not perfect.  He's not steeped in religious jargon to impress.  He just has a heart to listen and obey God.

2)  He has a good core.  Our girls have heard this one a lot.  When you get right down to it, is he a good person, kind, loving, respectful? Is he someone you would want your children to emulate?

3)  He has gumption.  Yes, gumption.  The wherewithal to not just dream, but to take steps toward attaining the dream.  Someone who doesn't let life just "happen" to him, but rather he seizes the day.

4)  He has fortitude.  Does he see things through?  Does he keep going?  Does he pout and quit? Can he overcome adversity?

5)  He is financially responsible.  No, he doesn't have to be Mark Cuban, but he should at least have a plan to manage his funds, handle credit and spend wisely.

6)  He is able to make decisions.  This sounds like a no-brainer, but he needs to know what he wants and where he's going if he's going to take my daughter along with him.

7)  He has a good sense of humor.  He has to in order to survive in our family as well as some of the curves that life will throw at him.

8)  He not only needs to love my daughter, but cherish her.  When you cherish, you protect, you guard, you forgive, you appreciate.

9)  He works hard and is diligent in all he is given.

10) He is consistent.  My daughter can depend on him.  She knows that he won't blow up one minute and lavish her with praise the next.  He makes her feel safe.

11)  He loves the Bible and he loves prayer.  Any challenges they might face as a couple can be sorted through this spiritual discipline.

12)  He only has eyes for her.  He carries himself in such a way (publicly and privately) that she never questions his devotion.

If it sounds like a high standard, well, it is.  You see, we're talking about my daughters.  If we (John and I) don't teach them what to look for in a man, then where will they get the information?  Better yet, if we hadn't modeled it for them (as to the best of our ability and some apologies), how would they know we were right?

In 59 days, John will get to walk Emileigh down the aisle to a man that encompasses all these qualities and we couldn't be more thrilled.  But this isn't a one-stop checklist shop.  We each have to continue to choose to walk in obedience to Jesus' teachings and submission to each other.  It's a daily choice that when chosen makes for an amazing life! (Cue "The Wedding March"!)

Now somebody pass the Kleenex!

www.mywedding.com/emileighandjacob

The Cavewoman Diet: Week 3

Cruising down the Nile at Christmas

Are you as sick of hearing about vegetables as I am eating them?  No, seriously.  Someone wrote an article saying that at this stage I should be seeing some of the benefits of this new healthy lifestyle.  Things which would include really tasting the flavor of food in its pure state without chemicals or additives, boundless energy and an awareness of my psychological dependency (if there be any) on food.  Well, apparently there be.

I have actually quite enjoyed this little trip into Healthdom right up until the point that I realized I have yet to wake up to a size 3.  I understand that I'm taking myself on a journey of discovery…blah, blah, blah.  Truly the deal that I made between my mouth and my thighs is this:  I will give you all the delicious nutrients that you say you require if you promise not to provide such a prominent display of yourselves in public.  Deal?  Deal.

I feel as though I'm keeping my part of the bargain, but they are slow to respond, reluctant to give up the limelight.  Before anyone sends me any cheer up articles about how fat burns and how this can't be undone overnight…I get it.  No really.  I do get it.  I think that's what makes this all the more challenging.  

I understand a "slip on the lips, forever on the hips".  I haven't slipped a bit.  Not an iota.  Only to my husband have I been more true.  It's the brain game that's in effect now.  Convincing myself that this is not just an event, but a life choice.  (Oh, good grief.  I'm sounding more and more like an infomercial all the time!  STOP me if I start to Prancercise!)

This is good.  I'm still in it.  I prepped another week's worth of vegetables and have mounds of fruit nearby.  10 more days until we have reached the completion of our first Whole30 challenge.  Very exciting.  Life is simply too good to numb it with Twinkies.  (Now THAT is the start of a great informercial!)

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The phrase "Cavewoman Diet" is just a fun name I've given this style of eating.  It's also called "Paleo Eating" which refers to the time when nomads hunted and gathered their food…i.e. meat, berries, root vegetables, etc.  

Strange Days

A random horse comes by to chew on the brand new grass.

The area of the world we live in is desert…sheer desert.  If you're not near the Nile, then your view is sand and lots of it.  The weather here is an unmotivated meteorologist's dream.  Sunny every day.  That's your weather report.  Nothing changes except the occasional wind here and there.  Oh, and hot.  

However the last few days have even shaken the locals.  On Thursday night a wedding celebration was taking place at a nearby hotel.  Part of the festivities included a fireworks demonstration.  As I was watching from our home, I saw lightning.  HORIZONTAL lightning.  What in the world is that?!

The wind kicked up and clouds began to gather.  What be this?  There is no rain here.  Okay, there's rain every two years with an accumulation of 2 millimeters, but does that really count?  

Thunder began to rumble and I dared hope that we might indeed see a storm.  Within 15 minutes, a light rain began to fall and within 10 minutes it was all over.  I had witnessed it.  When I have grandchildren I'll be able to tell them, "I was in The Great Storm of 2014…"

When we talked with our friend, Mustafa*, he said that that would be it.  No more or so he thought. The next day clouds continued to hover, more wind and another bit of rain.  He reassured us that truly this was it because they never receive any rain of any consequence.

Yesterday, we were talking with our friends after church and someone said, "It's raining.  Really raining!"  Immediately all of the foreigners took off outside and promptly stood in the rain with our face turned heavenward.  The locals dashed for cover while staring at the now-wet crazy people.

This time the rain formed puddles.  Thunder and lightning continued for maybe an hour.  We couldn't believe it.  On our way home, one of our neighbors said, "The weather has changed so that you will feel at home."  We laughed and told him thank you.

Mustafa came by and said that was the first thunder he had ever heard.  He's in his 30s.  Most people here have outdoor rooms because of the lack of rain.  They are now mopping up their floors and drying out the cushions.

Strange days indeed.  I'm quite grateful for the rain, but I'm also thankful for the physical picture of God's grace.  That when we find ourselves in a dry, desert place of the soul…God sees us and can make it rain even in areas thought to be impossible.  

And now, God, do it again—

    bring rains to our drought-stricken lives

So those who planted their crops in despair

    will shout hurrahs at the harvest,

So those who went off with heavy hearts

    will come home laughing, with armloads of blessing.

Psalm 126:4

No Words

Sometimes there are no words for the things that we hear and witness living in this culture.  I've attempted this entry a few times now and just can't seem to find a way to articulate my thoughts.  So read along with me if you will and maybe we will figure this out together.

It began earlier this week when a friend of ours stopped by to tell us some village news.  She said that a local family had been celebrating a wedding on a boat cruise down the Nile the previous evening.  The boat hit a rock and the family's adult son fell into the water.  He could not be found.  The entire village continued the search for days following.

Such ultimate happiness and such devastating grief in one moment.  No words…

Midweek we were informed that the entire Egyptian political cabinet had resigned.  Of course, there are varying opinions about why, but the new fragile government once again experienced another setback.  One very practical example is that this somehow affected all of the garbage collectors in the country who then went on strike.  

Alongside the roads...

Egypt has many amazing sites, but the garbage piles are not one of them.  Imagine a city of 24 million with no trash pick up.  It takes only days before it becomes an unimaginable health hazard.  Our city is half a million and there are piles of trash everywhere.  The goats are eating as fast as they can, but they simply can't keep up.  

Flies have begun to swarm through the village streets and disease can only be around the corner.

Such promise for a people determined to change and such stagnation for those who adopt the philosophy "mish mushkeeltee" (not my problem).  No words…

The most difficult event took place in a neighborhood of one of our friends.  A 4 year old girl was playing with her friends (boys and girls) in her home.  As they were playing she lifted up her t-shirt.  Her father witnessed this and flew into a rage that she had "shamed" the family.  He murdered her, wrapped her body in a rug and put it on the doorstep of the nearby mosque.

My friend said that they had noticed the rug outside the mosque as they were walking by that day, but that was not an unusual sight.  

Even now as I type this, I find the actions of this "father" incomprehensible. His unmarried (preschool) daughter had revealed her body to a male thus bringing shame on the family.  The only way for "honor" to be returned (in his mind) was to kill her.  He is now sitting in prison awaiting his trial.

A little girl playing and laughing, then snuffed out and discarded.  No words…

I spent some time sitting on our patio staring out at the horizon breathing a prayer.  "Lord, what do you say when grief comes fast and swift like the current of a raging river?"  "What are your words for a country longing to be free, but their opinions for solution pile up in every corner creating more problems than progress?"  "What do you say to a man whose concept of god requires him to provide his own salvation for his family, taking a life in order to gain it?"

The sense of despair I felt was almost palpable.  

"It's too much."  
"The task is too great. It would take 50 lifetimes to affect this culture in a significant way."
"I'm not cut out for this."
"In fact, I'm not feeling compassionate at all in this moment.  I want to slug somebody."

I did the thing that is wise to do when one doesn't know what to do.  I opened my Bible.  

1 Corinthians says: "All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort—we get a full measure of that, too...

"...Instead of trusting in our own strength or wits to get out of it, we were forced to trust God totally—not a bad idea since he’s the God who raises the dead! And he did it, rescued us from certain doom. And he’ll do it again, rescuing us as many times as we need rescuing. You and your prayers are part of the rescue operation—I don’t want you in the dark about that either. I can see your faces even now, lifted in praise for God’s deliverance of us, a rescue in which your prayers played such a crucial part."

Life on life is what we do here.  We laugh, we celebrate, we sweat, we mourn…together.  God in His graciousness has dispatched His ambassadors throughout the world to offer His compensation for a people robbed of peace, joy, assurance; to rescue them from fatalism and hopelessness.  

I'm not meant to create the change on my own.  No one can do that.  No government can do that.  God continues to seek out those who need reconciliation.  I am a facilitator of His message. I simply share the heart of my Father.  As I have freely received, I now freely give…words of life, words of consolation, words of forgiveness, words of hope. 

I'm so thankful to Jesus for all He is to me and to those soon to meet Him…no words.

Days 11-15 The Five Stages of Grief When Saying Goodbye to Sugar

1.  Denial--You don't really mean all sugar, do you?

2.  Anger--But I'm a Southerner!  Tea tastes like dirt with no sugar!

3.  Bargaining--Okay, if after 2 weeks I feel better, may I have a muffin?

4.  Depression--What's the point in celebrating if there's no cake involved?

5.  Acceptance--Thanks, Sugar, it's been nice knowin' you.

Day 10 and Indiana Jones

Dr. P or Indiana Jones…Seriously…do they
all look like this?

So Day 10 started out like any other Whole30 day.  Hmmmm…shall I put my carrots on the left side of the plate instead of the right just to mix things up?

I pondered my nutrient design when I received a text that a guest archeologist would be giving tours of a recent "dig" on an island nearby and wondered if I wanted to go.  DO I WANT TO GO?!  I admit that while our part of the world does have a few drawbacks, i.e. burn-your-brain temperatures, occasional uprisings, endless sand, etc. what it does have in spades is history…amazing history.

When I was a kid, I had one favorite volume of the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the edition that contained Egyptology.  I poured over every bit of it as least a hundred times.  It simply fascinated me.  Now someone was asking me if I would be interested in a REAL LIVE DIG?!  

I told John to clear the calendar because we had an adventure.  He was thrilled as well so we put on our Chacos (What else would one wear?), grabbed a bottle of water, ate our pop art vegetable design and headed out.

The island where Dr. P (not Pepper) worked had been several cities for a variety of civilizations over time.  As he toured our group around we noticed strata of bricks and sediment.  He said that streets build up over time and that cities actually "raise".  Wow.  He said the further you dig down the more cities you may find along with tools and information that would give insight into people's lives.

Temples and graves in Egypt have been discovered for the last 100 years or so.  This place held secrets of an Egyptian city.  The street layout, the housing, the water supply, vendors and places of worship.  

When one pharaoh lost power, a new one would demolish the city and build something on top of it.  The ruins reflected pieces from one dynasty used by the latter one as construction pieces.  Large chunks of granite lay about where the final kingdom had been.

Alexander the Great arrived in Egypt and the Roman influence began.  Since that city would be considered the most "recent" very little of it remained because present day dwellers made room for more advanced infrastructure.  

Dr. P reminded me of Indiana Jones.  Seriously.  He had the whole look going on.  He had been working in Egypt for 35 years through the winter months.  His knowledge of "this dynasty" and "that dynasty" was mind-boggling.  I lost track at the third Ramses.

We were just rounding the precipice of the city where a garrison had been when a security guard looking purposeful and impatient announced that the island was closing.  Dr. P ignored him and continued up to the top.  I waited for a giant ball to come rolling down on us but alas nothing exciting like that happened.

His goal is to archive the various civilizations that had once lived on this island and also gather enough details to understand how everyday people lived.  In fact, he said that when he needs to connect the dots from what he's found he takes a walk through the nearby Nubian village which helps him immensely.  He said in many ways their lives remain the same as their ancestors…with the exception of the ever-present cellphone.

We made our way back to the beginning of the site and thanked Dr. P for giving his time to educate us.  He lit a cigarette and struck a pose while saying, "My pleasure."  I waited for him to pull out a whip and lasso a boat to shore…but he did not.

John and I returned to our apartment full of new information and desperately needing a big drink of water.  I was truly grateful for this opportunity and also thankful that I'm fit enough to traverse over such terrain.  It inspired me even further for preparing dinner.  I would create a plate full of vegetables that recreated the ancient subterranean town of Ramses!  Maybe even a small Sphynx of broccoli.

The homes with small streets in between.

A temple of worship.

Paintings found with the paint still in tact.

This man holds the Key of Life.
I know the real One who holds the Key of Life.

Horus…one of the gods that was worshipped.

Not sure but I think it says,
"Welcome to our town.
Please tip your guide on the way out."

Down to the oldest city...

2500 year old bricks

The panoramic view.

A large granite post toppled.  A mill (right) discarded.

The top of the city overlooking the Nile.

Please hum the theme from "Indiana Jones"
while viewing our photo.

The Cavewoman Diet: Day 8 and 9/Living on Food Grown Along the Nile

Everything centers around the Nile in this part of the world.

This week we hosted a few more guests in and out of our home.  I'm still struggling with food prep.  I mean not everyone should have to check in to Food Rehab against their will.  At the beginning of the week, one of the friends pulled me aside.  She told me that she had a medical condition that required her to eat only protein, vegetables, fruit and dairy.  Nothing else that would be considered unhealthy such as sugar, oils, etc.  

Wooooooohoooooooo!  She was so worried about talking to me about it and I was SO thrilled that we were almost on the same identical food wagon!  This would make the whole idea about meal prep so much less stressful.  She was relieved because we weren't having to make special accommodations for her.  Yessssssss……..

I purchased what I thought would be enough fruit and vegetables for the week.  I was out by Tuesday.  Seriously?!  I guess when each person has an equivalent of 2 cups of vegetables per meal…it doesn't take long to use up the supply.  Did I mention I'm not a fan of grocery shopping?  Not here and not in America…although I do admit to spending several hours in the American grocery store because I just couldn't stop looking at all the choices.

Beautiful produce in Egypt is grown on
farms along the Nile.

I went back Tuesday and Thursday and Saturday.  I can't buy too far ahead because it won't stay fresh.  So me and the produce guy are becoming great friends.  He gives me local prices and I buy bags and bags of stuff every other day.  The Coke guy just sits and stares wondering what in the world happened to his company bonus I was sure to help him secure.

I've had only a few detox moments when I truly craved Diet Coke and/or a piece of chocolate or really anything bread-like…or sugar-like…or cheeseburger like…okay…ANNNNYthing other than the BIG 3.  I busied myself with other things such as VERY EXCITING LAUNDRY or FASCINATING DISH SCRUBBING which quickly took my mind off the cravings.

We had opportunity to show our guests around our city which provided a lot of good walking in and through the city.  Exercise and eating right.  Maybe somewhere really did freeze over.

The book ("It Starts With Food") mentions that around Day 16 I should start feeling like I have "tiger blood."  Somehow all these good nutrients have gathered enough courage to try and take Fort Sugar and will leave me feeling incredibly energized.  That hasn't come yet.  I do admit to feeling more alert, having fewer headaches and a general sense of well-being.  I'll keep you posted on TIGER BLOOD DAY.  

But this body didn't come easily so it's going to take a bit (okay a lot!) to reprogram it to berry-loving, tree-hugging status.  Still…my pants are looser and I know I'm taking a good step toward a more productive existence.  That's a good thing.  

One of my friends tells me, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."  I'm not sure if she ever had the Mudpie Mojo at Coldstone Creamery, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.  Which is easy to do since there's nothing like that in our part of the world…I probably wouldn't have so much bravado if I were in Paris surrounded by crepes.  God must have known. 

Now back to my regularly scheduled bowl of carrots...