Slug Syndrome

Something hit me this week that I can only describe as "steamroller-like."  I simply had no energy.  I couldn't seem to muster the will to do anything.  I looked at the pile of laundry in the corner and shrugged.  I walked past the pile of dirty dishes and said, "Meh." I listened to a recorded Arabic lesson and thought, "I don't know what he is saying and frankly, I don't care."

I told John that one of my "cars" had derailed.  He understood immediately what I meant.  I've mentioned in a previous entry that our life is broken down into "cars" (if you will) on the track that is our day.

The cars I've identified are: intellectual, physical, spiritual, emotional and relational.  If I did a quick assessment of them all at that particular moment, I would have said that 4 out of 5 cars were on track and buzzing along.  The "physical" car though seemed to cause all the rest to come to a screeching halt.

I pictured the news report that I saw this week of a roller coaster that got stuck mid track and had to have emergency workers help them down.  I felt similar.  I was stuck.  Too tired to move.  So I didn't.  John has a clear and compassionate understanding of this.  He looked at me and said, "Just go to sleep."

So I did.  I slept and I rested.  I read and slept again.  

I woke up today still a bit slow but much improved.  I don't necessarily know what to attribute to the "Slug Syndrome" except to say that that is life right now.

Now I'm trying to gain momentum for all the great aspirations that were ignored (with intention) earlier.  

Before, days like that used to freak me out.  I thought that every day should be remarkable, productive and happy.  If it wasn't, then I spent my energy trying to make it that way.  I've come to realize that days and life just come in rhythms, ebb and flow, yen and yang.

When my car is stuck on the track (and sometimes even hanging upside down), I try to do the things that I know will help put me upright again.

1.  Take a nap.
2.  Call a friend.
3.  Watch a funny movie.
4.  Take a walk in the sun. (If it's not the physical car derailed.)
5.  Read verses from The Book of Psalms out loud.
6.  Do something out of the ordinary.  Write. Paint. Draw. Create.
7.  Surprise someone with kindness.
8.  List the good things in life.

A couple things that leave my car hanging are: 1) believing my in-the-moment emotions, rather than what's true and 2) isolating myself for extended time.  They just aren't productive and they prolong the derailment.

So today I embrace my day understanding that wherever my cars may be, it isn't permanent.  It's just life.  God is with me, understands me…and that's enough.