Geckos and Snakes Magna Carta

John and Borris

I had designated today as an official BIC (Behind in Chair) Day. These days are part of the discipline I'm choosing to implement as a way to a) improve my writing, b) keep from the "some day" mentality and c) enjoy this creative outlet.

Usually, I can pull from some humorous anecdote that recently happened or some poignant quote that so lovingly hits me between the eyes.  Today, I have several ideas floating around but nothing seems to be working. I'm distracted.

Instead, I'm thinking about the ants that have returned en masse since I carpet-bombed my kitchen with an overseas version of Raid. I'm wondering if I can use anything stronger and not grow a third eye.

The creatures here are relentless.  Just in the last month, I've had my own National Geographic experience with ants (small, medium and large), small mosquito-eating bats (maybe 6" wingspan), giant fruit bats (wingspan about 3'!), spiders (on my one imported avocado!), a family of geckos that live with us and a small snake with a big head that I found trying to get into our front door.

These are just the everyday ones.  I casually mentioned the snake to our landlord; he promptly called a guy to come out and deal with it.  Now we have little Walmart-like bags tied around the perimeter of our flat.  They have some type of snake deterrent in them.  I'm not quite sure of the science since the plastic bag is tied in a knot.  Does the snake just know it's bad juju in there for him?  At any rate, we've had no snakes since and now my patio is decorated for Fall in "Urban Hillbilly."

The giant fruit bats swoop down toward us any time we try to leave our flat at dusk.  Now, we try not to leave our flat at dusk.  The bats seem agreeable to this arrangement.  I'm wondering how I can communicate to them that I am not to be mistaken for a giant mango.  More study is required…

The geckos range from tiny (2") to Komodo dragon (8").  We have a treaty with them of sorts.  If they eat all the unwanted ants, mosquitos, spiders, etc. AND stay on the ceiling, then they can stay.  If however, they come 1) into our bedroom or 2) below the wall halfway mark, then a soccer ball may be lobbed at them by John from any angle.

While Aria was here, one tiny gecko adopted her and followed her wherever she was in the house.  In Arabic a gecko is called borse.  Knowing this, she named her new friend, Borris the Borse.  All of the geckos followed the agreement with the exception of Borris.  Borris was found in our bedroom just 2 nights ago.  He froze trying to be invisible, but John explained to him again the ground rules for living in our house and carefully escorted him out (no soccer ball for him since he had a name and all…)

As for spiders, they seem to be the least of my worries right now.  No, I don't like them…but they are in the minority of creatures that have taken up residence in our home.  I know some of you would adopt the "scorched earth" policy, but they've all worn me down.

At first, my goal was to eradicate any and all living things in our home with the exception of us.  That's too lofty.  It's not possible.  The entire building is built on sand or as the nimla like to say "one big giant anthill."  If I used enough Raid to rid ourselves of them, I do believe John and I would start glowing green very soon after.  

So we try to live in some sort of Circle of Life harmony.  I jump, shiver, smash and scream and the survivors carry on as if nothing happened.  I imagine a small, underground support group that meets weekly.  All of them joined together antennae to wing to paw singing softly together,

All creatures of our God and King
Lift Up Your Voice and With Us Sing
O Praise Him, O Praise Him, O Praise Him

All humans in our home and land,
Take heed lest we will bite your hand
O Fear Us, O Flee Us, O Leave Us.