The Cavewoman Diet

If you'll recall, I wrote an entry a few weeks ago about an all new healthy lifestyle that John and I would begin.  I've been true to my word following my neat little chart that's on the refrigerator and limiting my intake of anything NOT found on the chart.  I've gotten up at dark thirty to walk and have lost a total of (drumroll please)…2 pounds.  

Yes, you read that right.  2 lousy, awful horrible pounds.  If this happened on Biggest Loser, Jillian would put a hidden camera in my room, make me do 50 extra sets of reps and scream at me the whole way.  2 pounds?!  

I know.  My health is improving.  My heart is growing stronger.  Blah.  Blah.  Blah.  No one ever has said, "Wow, your tryglycerides are looking' good, girl!"  I need results.  The MOB (Mother of the Bride) dress taunts me every day as it hangs in my view.

"Pictures are forever, Pam."
"Do you really want the trauma of having to look for another dress?!"
"Photoshop can't do everything!"

One of my friends (I'll leave that designation currently as it is…however, I may feel differently in a few days) recommended that I try a program called, "Whole30."  In a nutshell, it's the third ring of food hell.  For 30 days you eat only real food (There's a whole book defining what real food is but suffice it to say that Ding Dongs are NOT on the list…) as well as give up anything that ever brought a smile to your face.

No sugar.
No grains.
No dairy.
No legumes.
No alcohol.  (That's an easy one with the exception of Nyquil.)
No cheating.

It's not designed as a lifelong style, it's one of those infamous detox programs that helps your body recalibrate in a span of 30 days.  I gingerly mentioned it to John one evening.  He eagerly listened and was on board way too easily.

"You understand that this means no sweet iced tea?"

Silence.  Oh…

"AND…this means no Diet Coke for me?"  (Did I just feel the earth spin?!)

"Well," he said, "if it will help us improve our energy level and set us on a good path, then let's do it!"

Rats.  I mean, "Oh, great!"

Some also call this program the "Paleo Diet" because it is compared to what cavemen would have eaten…all the food that they could hunt or gather.  I'm not so much into the caveman theory but I do understand why they would have said, "UG" at this type of program and why pounding something with a club sounds like a good idea.  

I also liked this approach because in our part of the world resources are very limited.  You can't find low fat ANYTHING.  Low sodium?  No way.  Light?  Unheard of…  Full fat and full cream is the motto here.  Deep fried is the only way to go.  I knew we had to do something.

We went to the fruit guy and loaded up on all things healthy.  I had to fudge a bit (I'm absolutely sure that's a Freudian slip!) on the "free range" and "organic" mentions since…well, let's just say they aren't up to that here yet.

I christened our final night of "old way" eating with a Diet Coke and a bowl of cereal.  Goodbye you sweet, bubbly glass of goodness…

By writing this entry, I'm creating a "community of support" for myself, encouragers who will cheer me on.  I need them because as of right now all I can think about is how much my head is pounding and how good a piece of cheese sounds.

I'll keep you posted each day during the 30.  Even if it's only a sentence that would sound very much like a whimper when read out loud…

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Today's BOGO Blog:  The Sultan